“Work Before Play”
Do you have a child who is giving you pushback when you ask them to do something like get ready for school, bed, or to do literally anything? This was happening daily in our house. So we decided to change things up. What worked well for us was to change our routine. Our biggest struggles are getting ready to go out the door for school in the morning. As well as getting ready for bed. There always seems to be a fight. We changed up the routine with the motto of: “work before play” “Work before Play” has made a huge difference. This means that instead of waking up and eating breakfast while watching cartoons, she has to get dressed, eat breakfast and take the dog for a walk all before cartoons and play with mommy time. For bed time routine, instead of waiting for her to get ready (because she drags it out as long as possible) we set a 10 minute timer and if she is able to get ready in those 10 minutes, then we will read a book, give a back tickle and sing a song. If she does not get ready in that time then she gets tucked up but no book, tickle or song because she wasted that time playing and not getting ready for bed. "Work before play," literally gives her something to work towards. We have significantly decreased our conflicts by implementing this. Initially there was complaining and pushback, but now that it’s routine, it has changed our lives!
0 Comments
Why is everyone talking about meal prep?
Have you even tried it? Seriously, don’t knock it until you try it. If you struggle with: ✔️Portion control ✔️Deciding what to eat ✔️ Getting inpatient because you are so hungry that you grab the first thing you see and its not usually healthy ✔️Eating when you are not hungry ✔️Snacking ✔️Unbalanced meals ✔️Time Try for just one day, in the morning, plan what you are going to eat for the entire day. See what a difference it makes! If you want help with meal prep, or making nutritious choices, let me know! Hunger + Lack of planning = Dangerous combo!
It’s amazing how just a little planning makes all the difference… If I don’t plan ahead my food, often times I end up grabbing whatever is easiest and looks the tastiest! (Usually a delicious carbohydrate) When ever I get off track with my food and have more cravings for carbs, I look at the reasons why, and it always comes down to a lack of planning. Meal prep is key to a successful week of nutrition. This only takes 1 day a week where I go shopping and then prep all the food. Then I freeze excess or eat the leftovers (I can’t always handle eating the same thing 3 days in a row so I freeze it). Being pre cut veggies is key! This saves soooo much time. What’s your meal prep time saver? I’m shocked at what I learned after interviewing 10 different moms…
During my market research, I asked each Mom to tell me about their negative self talk themes that come up in their head. Do you know what 8/10 moms said? They have thoughts of “I’m not a good mom, or “I don’t know if I’m a good enough Mom,” or “I hope I’m a good enough mom.” This breaks my heart because I know each and every one of them are doing the best they can. Mom life can be rough, but no matter what, you are the very best person to be your kids mom. It’s not possible to be perfect all the time. Give yourself some freakin’ grace. Whatever negative self talk you are having, I want you to turn it around to something positive. Write it on your bathroom mirror so you see it every day. When I first became a mom I thought something was wrong with me, I thought I should be happier, more excited about this time in my life but all I kept thinking was, “What about me?” I felt guilty for feeling this way. I was overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, and had a negative mindset. I felt guilty for this as well.
I found there were other mom’s out there that felt this way too. I was not alone. With this new knowledge, I slowly started to feel empowered. Hearing from other Mom’s, that had, “been there, done that,” say things like, “you have to take care of you, so you can take care of them,” and “make sure you don’t go straight home after work, take a second for yourself.” Or, “You should hire a babysitter or trade daycare with your friends.” These comments motivated me more than anything. At first I didn’t think there was anyway I could do something for me. There was no time in the day, I was too tired, I didn’t have the money, what if my baby needs me? But after seeing these mom’s who were confident, relaxed, positive, happy, and guilt free, I thought, “There must be a way.” I didn’t have to be stuck in the cycle of give, give, give until there is nothing left! I could make this work to where I could take the time for myself to do something I enjoy without the overwhelming guilt. I could sacrifice my ego to ask a friend or family member to watch my daughter for 30 min. I could overcome my fear of leaving her with someone else if it meant that I was taking care of me, so that I could show up as my best self for her. If you want to go from feeling guilty, stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, and lost, to a confident, motivated and guilt free momma, that feels in control of her life, then my 3 month Life Balance Virtual Course is for you. If you want so show up everyday as your best self and a positive role model for your kids? This course is for you. Learn more in a quick Q&A discovery call by clicking the button below. What’s your guilty pleasure?
My husband and daughter were gone for 5 days visiting my in laws in AZ. I had to stay home to work and take care of the animals…. Let me rephrase that. I got to stay home and had the time of my life! I had all the time to work on my passion (my biz) and had incredible amounts of alone time where I could do anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. IT. WAS. AMAZING! What did I do with my time? What are my guilty pleasures you ask? I did everything that I wouldn’t normally do when my husband and daughter are here. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I slept in! I ordered take-out at a place my husband doesn’t like. I bought dessert (carrot cake). I got my first tattoo!!! I got up early to drive to a spot to watch the sunrise. I watched a chick flick and some Netflix shows my Husband doesn’t approve of. I took baths! I got in the hot tub. I went for long walks with the dog. I spent time with friends. I worked out, only when I felt like it…. This has been 5 days of self care and I took advantage of every second. I’d love to hear what you would do with your time if you had 5 days to yourself... Are you struggling with homeschooling your kids? Do you want to pull your hair out everyday trying to get them to listen and just do their work? Are you sick of yelling and arguing with them constantly? If this is you, tune in right here, right now. I'm going to share some tips with you that will have you excited to start a new day of homeschooling with your kids…. I homeschool my 5 year old and she is one strong personality. She loves to eat during her zoom calls. She will rush through her work. She will argue, and sometimes refuse to do her school work. We went from this miserable behavior and me never wanting to teach her again, to me actually looking forward to another day of homeschooling. Here is what I did…. 4 Important Steps that worked for my daughter and I. The details of these steps should vary based on the child and what is appropriate for their age group. 1. Accountability 2. Reward 3. Routine 4. Review Step 1: Accountability. This involves holding her accountable for her actions and being clear about where she stands. We decided to do this with green, yellow and red cards. Green=Good, Yellow=Warning, Red= Reset (5 min alone). If the red card reset doesn't work, then we start giving consequences for actions. Step 2: We created a reward plan. She can earn up to 3 tickets a day. If she does well with getting ready for school, eating breakfast taking the dog for a walk, ect. She earns a ticket. If she does well with her school work without any red cards, she gets a ticket. Lastly if the evening goes well with dinner and bedtime routine she gets a 3rd ticket. She can save up her tickets and turn them into us for prizes like a treat, a toy, or a special trip. Step3: We created a routine for the day and stick to it. We write down what time everything is going to happen. We schedule in breaks and snack times as well as free play time. Step 4: We review all of these steps with her before we start our day so she knows what to expect. She knows what she needs to do to get a reward. She understands what her rewards are and she understands there are consequences for her poor choices. The day I implemented these 4 steps, was freakin amazing! She was incredibly polite. She worked hard and completed all of her work. We only had one red card incident but then quickly went back to a green and finished the day on a positive note. If you guys are interested in learning more details about the 4 steps I took to feel excited about homeschooling my child, contact me! We all need each other's support right now. Don't be afraid to reach out. Before I was pregnant, I dreamed about having a baby. It was everything I ever wanted. I got pregnant right away and was so freaking excited. I had a great pregnancy and a horrific child birth story, but we won’t get into that. I ended up with a somewhat emergent c-section and my baby had to go to the nursery right away. When I finally got to hold and feed her, it was the most amazing thing in the world. I was so thankful and happy and everything was perfect. This magical feeling lasted for about 4 weeks before the real hard part set in.
Family was done visiting, Husband went back to work, we moved farther away from family and I was home with our new baby, Mia. Just her and me, 12-14 hour days. To say the least, this adjustment period was freaking hard. I remember thinking, “So, I can’t just go to the store, I can’t just take a nap, I can’t just go workout, I can’t just go to work, I can’t just take a shower!” I can’t just do all the things I once did a month ago and so much enjoyed. It was like, I had no idea what I just got myself into. I had no idea it was going to be this hard. I remember crying often for what felt like no reason. I remember calling my mom and saying, “No one ever told me it was going to be like this!” I was supposed to feel happy and grateful. This is supposed to be the greatest time of my life. I was so incredibly blessed and here I was crying because I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. Instead, I felt guilty and shameful because it was not the greatest time of my life and I couldn’t do anything I wanted to do for me. As time went on I adjusted more and more to Mom life. I started taking her to play dates and library time. This is when I started to become known as “Mia’s Mom,” (no longer, Ashley). I would get jealous of other Mom’s who seemed to be so happy, who seemed to love being a stay at home mom and wanted more kids. Mom’s who seemed to never have a thought of, “what about me?” This made me feel even more alone. Like I was selfish, or something was wrong with me because I felt this way. I was proud of the title “Mia’s Mom” but it also felt like, losing myself. I was still a nurse, but not excited about my job. I was still an athlete but had been out of the game for 9 months and when could I fit that in? I was still a wife but did not want to be touched after a 12 hour day with my baby all over me. I felt alone, lost, guilty and ungrateful. I love my baby to death and wanted to be with her and take care of her, but I also wanted time to myself. I wanted a minute just to do something for me that was more than just eating, drinking and going to the bathroom. I didn’t know it was ok to feel this way and I was not the only mom who did. There were other mom’s who struggled just like me. But no one was brave enough to talk about it. That’s why I’m sharing my story with you today. You are not alone in feeling this way! What I have learned over the past 5 years of being a Mom is that, it’s not only OK to want self care, but it is absolutely necessary in order to be the best Mom you can be. Let me repeat that...Self care is absolutely necessary in order to the best Mom you can be. If you want to be a good mom, a good role model for your kids, show them. Show them that you want them to chase their passions. Show them you want them to work out and eat healthy and take care of their bodies. Show them, by doing it yourself! When you start taking care of yourself, you will reshape your identity. You will have more patience. You will have a more positive outlook. You will have lower stress. You will be more confident. You will become the best version of yourself and a Mom that you could ever be! How do you create time for self care? You prioritize it just like anything else! |
AuthorAshley Heilig RN-BSN, NBC-HWC Archives
April 2021
Categories |